FAQs

1. Who is Relationship Coaching for?

Relationship coaching is for couples who want to grow their relational intelligence, master key relational skills, and improve their relationship — helping couples take their marriage from fair to good or good to great.

2. What do you base your work on?

LifeApp relationship coaching is based on the the work of well known relational researchers like John and Julie Gottman, Brené Brown, Gabor Mate, Bessel Van der Kolk, George Vaillant, Martin Seligman, and others. Grounding our work in solid, peer reviewed relational science, is not just an add on, it is foundational to the tools, processes, and coaching we provide.

3. Which is better, coaching online or in-person?

We offer and recommend a mix of both. An initial meetup online to determine whether there is chemistry and a desire to work together, is often a great way to get started. Following our first session, we recommend a mix of online and in-person sessions when possible. But at the end of the day, we find online every bit as effective as in-person sessions and are happy to accommodate both.

4. What’s the difference between a Relationship Coach and a Counsellor or Therapist?

Relationship coaches, counsellors, and therapists at times help clients with similar problems. However their work is not the same. In order to get the right kind of professional expertise, it is crucial to know which kind of guidance will serve you best. Do you need a therapist, or do relationship coaching services better suit you?

Relationship coaching isn’t simply a watered-down version of therapy. It is a dynamic discipline designed to help motivate, equip, and inspire people to achieve more than they believe is possible in their relational life. The fundamentals of relationship coaching are what distinguishes it from therapy.

Relationship coaches do not diagnose the clients they work with, while therapists determine illnesses and pathologies so their patients can be clinically treated. Often therapists analyze their client’s past as a tool for understanding present behaviours, whereas relationship coaches assess and identify current behaviours that may be holding a client back; help clients set realistic yet inspirational relational goals; and provide the kind of accountability, skills training, and encouragement needed to reach them.

In other words, therapists often focus on “why” certain behavioural patterns occur, whereas coaches often work on “how” to move from where you are to where you want to be.

5. What’s the purpose of a Relationship Coach?

Nothing affects the quality of our lives more than the quality of our relationships. Unfortunately, our culture often tells us that simply loving someone is enough to make a relationship work, or that if you have conflict in a relationship, it means you haven’t found the right person.

We wouldn’t do that in any other arena of life. Who would want a person who simply loves the idea of surgery, but has no training or scientifically based experience, performing surgery on them? We would never accept an airline company who hired people simply because they wanted to fly, and when they crashed, were given a different airplane to fly.

Yet we do this all the time in the arena of relationships. Whether it’s a life partner, a family, a business, or a friend-to-friend relationship; simply hoping good relationships will happen is not enough to make it a probable reality. That’s where Relationship Coaching comes in — inspiring, equipping, and supporting individuals and couples in growing their relational skills and intelligence.

6. Why Should I Hire a Relationship Coach?

A well known life axiom comes to mind, “you don’t know what you don’t know.” Unfortunately in the arena of relational intelligence, we don’t often receive the kind of feedback that would help us grow. A friend or partner may get angry about something you did, but never let you know what it was in your behaviour that angered them. Others may become frustrated with the way you act at times, but never speak up about it.

Often friends, family, and acquaintances will vote with their feet, moving away from you, long before they will give you feedback that might help you grow. Which leaves most of us few opportunities to learn and grow.

This is one of the benefits of working with a Relationship Coach—the potential to receive clear feedback rooted and grounded in the most current and up-to-date relational sciences.

Using clinically proven and research based assessment instruments to provide both objective and subjective feedback, a Relationship Coach will help you gain a better understanding of where you are, encourage you to identify where you want to go, and equip you with what you need to reach your relational goals.

7. How long do I need to commit to working with a relationship coach?

Relationship coaching is not a quick fix. Whether your relationship is reasonably strong and you're wanting to proactively build an even stronger foundation by adding some healthy habits and tools.; or if your relationship is struggling as a result of any number of things that have built up over the years. It took years to get here, it is going to take time to get to where you want to go.

It takes time to assess where you are currently at relationally, determine where you want to go, and build a plan to get there. But once a plan is in place and you begin to implement the tools, it may surprise you at just how fast you will experience changes and improvements between yourself and your partner.

8. Why would those who are already successful in their relationships hire a relationship coach?

Great relationships rarely happen by chance. While many seek help once the crisis hits, others are proactive and build or reinforce healthy relational habits so they will be prepared when a crisis hits. Relationships are dynamic, they never stand still, they are always evolving. Great relationships are the work of a lifetime.

Two-on-two relationship coaching speeds up the process of learning and provides a system of accountability, learning, and personal growth grounded in solid evidence based relational research.

9. Why does 2-on-2 relationship coaching produce such rapid change?

2-on-2 relationship coaching works for several reasons:

1. Assessment:

We start by using the Gottman Relationship Checkup, a clinically proven well researched assessment instrument that helps us assess where you and your partner are at relationally. The insight provided by this assessment tool allows us to chart a coaching path specifically tailored to the needs of your relationship. But having two sets of eyes review and respond to the results, also increases the potential perspective and insight provided. 


2. Synergy:

The synergy created between two coaches and two clients in a relationship creates momentum and enthusiasm. There is greater clarity, deeper understanding, as well as a masculine and feminine perspective exponentially increasing the odds of success. There is a sense of relief having two people in your corner, encouraging and supporting you and your relationship. This provides a level of hope that can help increase the potential for change. 


3. Structure:

We provide a structure of support. Left to our own devices, some of us may read a good book, watch an inspiring video, and even implement some changes. But more often our best intentions can either hit a snag, get derailed, or are put on hold for another time. In addition to regular coaching sessions, we provide check-ins between sessions, ongoing communication access to your coaches via our coaching app, action step reminders, and accountability. 


4. Objectivity:

Having two experienced relationship coaches provides objective support and insight. Not everyone is lucky enough to have friends or family who can or are willing to provide informed and objective feedback. 


5. Accountability:

Reporting your success and struggles weekly, following through with the homework, and tracking specific behaviours, helps to raise the probability of success.